Neurology & Pain Management
JULIAN UNGAR-SARGON, M.D., Ph.D.
123 McKinley Avenue
Renssalaer, IN 47978


Rustling
6/8/04


A new musical form
Each leaf a solo instrument in a green orchestra
A quartet on a twig
A chamber group on a branch
A symphony orchestra this forest.

The conductor, the wind, equalizes all
She gently caresses each leaf
Giving exactly what it needs to sing
Beginning gradually to a crescendo of rustling.

I watch, reading my-self into this musical text.
When she gets agitated
The whole orchestra rises to the occasion, even branches bending and twisting
Reflecting her sense of discomfort.

Yet each leaf retains its identity
Since there is an added participant in this musical morning
The brilliant sun
Whose rays reflect off each and every leaf, differently.
And the combined effort of wind and sun cause a kaleidoscope of lights
To reflect off the tree adding light to the total sound experience
The more it rustles in the wind the more light it flickers
The more it attempts to reflect the son-et-lumière of its own nature.

This rustling, this interaction of music and light, is healing for my soul, in the darkness of my not knowing
Having come to acceptance of my ignorance, my mediocrity, and my powerlessness over forces greater than me, that wish to dominate me from within and without.
I have not mastered the art of gnosis in anything- least of all sacred science.

So this morning, in this glorious morning on the South Lake of Chicago
Brilliant sun in the deep azure vastness of eternity,
I surrender, to this light, to the sense of His secret Presence -malchut- for it flickers and rustles now here now there, mati velo mati reaching touching but then gone in a flash.
A metaphor for any achievement in the past, momentary images flickering like in an old super 8 home movie.

In the light I know I must leave this tortured self,
The tyranny of what might have been had I done this or that,
to be free like those sparkling leaves, to sing His song without the fettered past.

I learn this from the orchestra above, the rustling is so fleeting, ever changing, and temporary

Yet that this is OK too.

Teach me how to learn daas in this hastara.


(L.M. I :56.)